I had an awesome question sent to me from one of my Bloom Babes and I would love to answer it as I believe this will answer so many of your own questions.
I dated a guy… we’ll call him Mr x. Mr x and I dated on and off for years, 10 years ago. We’ve always maintained the occasional hello how r u text messages while we’ve each been single and in a relationship. Now I’m single again and Mr x is also single. Mr x lives 6 hours away and is planning on a trip to Sydney to see other friends but would also like to see me and go out for dinner while he is up this way. I feel like this could be something more than a one night stand… so my question is … given we’ve slept together before would it be ok to sleep together on the “first date” or would it be better to wait a few dates… I fell like maybe I want to wait at least until the second date but what would be a reasonable timeframe given the distance, how many dates before we should sleep together???
Such an great question!
As there has been some distance I would suggest getting to know each other again. People can change overtime and truthfully he may not be the man you once knew, so taking this time to get to know one another again would be a great idea. We live in a world filled with technology and our communication is now via text, email and social media. Technology not only looses romance, but it also allows individuals to convey themselves in any way they wish. So spending some time dating will allow you to determine what it is you want from Mr x based on his personality, attention to you, ambitions in life, his manners and how he treats you.
What is Your Outcome?
With all that said, you need to become clear on what it is you want prior to meeting him. Are you wanting a relationship right now? Do you just want to date casually? These are questions that you will need to ask yourself and then focus the dating around what it is that you desire. For example, if you are wanting a relationship, then I would not suggest sleeping with him on the first date. Allow him to create some romance on your dates and take the dating as slow as you feel comfortable.
There is no golden rule about how long you should date someone before sleeping with them. Dating is about getting to know each other and determining whether or not you see a future with this person. Communicate what it is that you want and listen to their response. If they want what you want then allow the dating to move to the next level.
Ask yourself what it is that you want in your future partner. Make a list of all the qualities that you desire in a man, in your relationship and how you want to feel in the relationship. Becoming clear on your desires allows you to not only manifest this into your life, but it also allows you to see the men that are not your future partner.
Thank you so much for this question and I hope it helps.
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I will be starting a series of live webinars on dating next week. I will send you all the details shortly.